Reminiscing

On this date two years ago, I was informed by the doctor that I would be meeting my daughter three weeks earlier than we all expected. I remember the rush of emotions....anticipation, excitement, and truth be told, overwhelming fear. I didn't know if I was ready to be a mom. I really wanted those three extra weeks to prepare and make sure that I had all of my i's dotted and t's crossed before Amelia's arrival.

Besides the fact that I didn't even have a hospital bag packed and was forced to send my husband home to pack a bag which led to me having 3 luggage bags full of clothes because I think Chris just grabbed any and everything he could find. I'm pretty sure the nurses thought I was moving in. Besides all that - I was scared that I didn't really know how to be a mom. Would I know how to hold her? Would I know how to comfort her? I had never been much of a baby person. They always terrified me. I was much more of a toddler type of person. Give me a 3 year old any day and we will have a grand ole time, but a newborn infant? Yikes. Let me just adore them from a safe distance. Those things are WAY too breakable.

So on this day two years ago, reality came crashing down hard. The doctor gave me exactly 3 days to lay in that hospital bed and get myself mentally-prepared, because ready-or-not Amelia Ryan was making her debut on January 13th and she was going to need her mama to have her act together.

Those 3 days passed in a flash and then before I knew it, the big day arrived. With all of the commotion of monitoring contractions and enduring a painful epidural experience, I didn't have much time to spend battling my nerves of officially becoming a mom. And in the blink of an eye, Amelia was here.

It was a surreal experience. A new life had just come into the world. And me and Chris were responsible for this precious little life. What an enormous and terrifying responsibility! But instead of being overcome with emotions of fear and doubt, upon seeing that beautiful baby's face, I felt nothing but love, pride, and gratitude for this gift from above. I also found myself with a severe case of Mama-Bear protective instincts and instead of being the one who avoided holding the little baby at all costs, I was the one who didn't want anyone else to hold her. She was mine. And I never wanted to let go.

Two years later, not much has changed. She is still 100% her mama's girl. I am so blessed to have such a special, wonderful, beautiful connection with my sweet daughter. She is the best snuggly huggly 2 year old I could ever have imagined. She knows that she is loved and she knows how to love others.

There are things that still try to sneak up on me and terrify me as a mother every now and then. But all I have to do is look at her sweet face and remember that God gave her to me and Chris. She is our girl, and we are equipped with all we will ever need to be her parents.

Someone may need to remind me that I said that during her pre-teen years. If she is anything like her mother, and I'm afraid she might be, those are bound to be some trying times in the Nation household. But for now, we will just enjoy celebrating our sweet drama-free two year old's birthday!