I swallowed a staple.

Y'all.

I swallowed a staple.

Three weeks into my new job and I am the girl who swallowed a staple.

So here is what happened.

I was in the process of removing staples and paper clips from a huge stack of papers. One of my brilliant ideas in my new position was to take all of the paper files and scan them into digital files. This means lots of removing of staples in my life right now. So, like I said, I was removing staples...

And I was in the middle of removing a staple when I yawned really big and the staple flew up in the air and lodged in the back of my throat.

How did this happen? I am still not sure.

So I'm sitting here at my new fancy desk in my new fancy office with a window. And I'm choking on a staple.

I could feel the little prickly thing in the very back of my throat. I don't know if you know this about me, but I can't swallow pills. I can't swallow pills because anything in the back of my throat makes me feel like I am choking. So you can imagine my discomfort when a staple is lodged there.

I walked nonchalantly to the bathroom, so as to not draw attention to myself. I stared at my throat in the mirror and couldn't see anything. So I did what I thought was probably the best solution and started swallowing until I couldn't feel the scratching in the back of my throat anymore.

Then I came back in my office like nothing was wrong and I hadn't just swallowed a staple.

But then, I started to get a little worried. Hello, I have an open staple inside my body right now. That can't be good.

So I went into the office of one of my new colleagues and I awkwardly said, "Um. Something really weird just happened." And proceeded to tell her about how I swallowed a staple. Holding back laughter, she helped me find a nurse so we could get a "consult".

I was advised to go eat something immediately but that I should be fine.

I consulted Google just to be sure. It told me that I could possibly get a perforated intestine so I should probably get an abdominal x-ray.

I decided to go eat something.

On my way I called one of the doctors I used to work with to get his opinion. Through uncontrollable laughter, he told me I would be fine. He said the chances of anything serious happening are one in a million. So I am now officially not freaking out anymore.

But seriously. How do these things happen to me?

PS - after hanging up the phone with my doctor friend, I received this picture of him and another doctor in the office.

So glad I have their heartfelt sympathies during this time of post-traumatic stress.