Denial - it's not just a river in Egypt

Y'all. I have had a shocking revelation over the weekend. Shocking I tell you.

Where do I begin? Well, for starters, let me just preface this tale of confusion and disbelief with the disclaimer that I will be using the abbreviation "lbs" quite a bit and I want to make it clear to anyone reading that I am referring to the abbreviation for the word "pounds" and not the lesser known abbreviation for the word "lambs". Ya know, in case anyone were to be confused about that.

It all started when I went to my annual doctor's visit on Friday. You know - the dreaded visit with the lady doctor. Though truth be told, I had actually skipped a year and so it was a little less on the annual side and more like 2 years since my last appointment, but life happens when you have a baby so I think you'll all understand how that happened.

And before you stop reading in fear that this is going to be some way too personal post about my gyno appointment, let me assure you that even I have some boundaries and will not be divulging any inappropriate details that make us both uncomfortable.

No, in fact this story all takes place in the check-in area of the doctor's office. Here's what happened. They called me back and the medical assistant walked me to the area where she would take my weight and blood pressure. Standard procedure. Then we sat down so that she could input the data into the computer and ask me a few questions before taking me back to the exam room.

But here is where it got interesting. She input my weight from the number she had seen on the scale and immediately exclaimed, "wow, you've lost a lot of weight." Scratching my head, I immediately defended myself with "no I haven't". I mean come on, I would KNOW if I had lost a lot of weight. Right?

But she persisted, "No, you've lost quite a bit. Take a look at this." So I turned toward her computer screen and she showed me the weight from my last SEVERAL appointments over the years. I immediately thought she was still mistaken so I said "well, I had a baby, so of course I lost weight - those numbers are from when I was pregnant." But no. No. No. She showed me the dates that went back well before my pregnancy days.

So I know the two things that a woman is never supposed to reveal are her weight and her age. But I'm just gonna get real for a second. I am 32 years old and for my entire adult life I have always believed that my weight has been around 130 lbs. Probably since high school if you were to ever ask me how much I weighed I would have said 130 lbs. That has always been my "normal". Which is why it is SHOCKING to me that the weight according to my doctor's office for the past few years showed that I was in fact 147 lbs.

Here is what scares me the most about this fact. I honestly have NO recollection of being 147 lbs. If you had asked me a few years ago how much I weighed, I would have said 130 lbs. But according to my medical record, I have been 147 lbs for several years. What universe is this?

After racking my brain all weekend about how it was possible that I have been carrying around 17 extra lbs for the past few years without realizing it, these are the only reasonable explanations I could come up with. Either I have a case of severe memory loss or I have been carrying around 17 hefty lbs of cold, hard DENIAL.

Given the fact that my daily uniform involves a pair of stretchy black leggings, I can kind of sort of see how I wouldn't have noticed an increase in pant size. And then I got pregnant and gained weight like it was my job maxing out at a whopping 190 lbs. So when the numbers started dropping on the scale post-partum, I just happily watched them go down and kept eating healthy and exercising until I returned to my normal 130 lbs. Because I honest to goodness still believed that was my normal weight that I have been for my entire life.

I'm still baffled at how I didn't realize I was 17 lbs heavier than I believed I was. It's like if someone asked Bo Peep how many sheep she had, and she said "I have 130 sheep. I've always had 130 sheep." And then out of the blue someone tells her that she used to have 147 sheep. She would be all like "147 sheep? When did I have 147 sheep? Where did the other 17 sheep go?"

So you see, Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them.

But she better not come ask me where they are because apparently I've become really good at gaining and losing lbs and not even realizing it.

And in this instance the abbreviation could work for pounds or lambs.

Happy Monday, y'all. Happy springing forward. And most of all, happy birthday to my favorite sister in all the world. I love you from here to da Nile River!