My glamorous life

Mom life.

Unless you are J. Lo or Beyonce, chances are your mom life is not one filled with lots of glitz and glam. Let me detail to you just how very true this observation is by giving you a recap of my weekend.

Saturday morning, after a little coffee and Elmo, Amelia and I loaded up the stay-wag with two tubs full of baby clothes to sell to a local consignment shop that (1) Amelia had outgrown and (2) I was not too sentimentally attached to.

See - right off the bat - I don't think JLo and Queen Bey are hitting up their neighborhood Once Upon a Child on their Saturday mornings. And I REALLY don't think they would have been nearly as excited as I was when I received $55 for my offerings. Cha-ching!

After an entire hour at the consignment shop, we were running too late to make it to story time at Barnes and Noble so we hit up Chik-fil-a so we could share some waffle fries and sweet tea. Since we were enjoying our yummy treats while en route back to the house, we managed to shellac a solid layer of grease on most surfaces in the car - the steering wheel, the car seat, you name it. And if that wasn't bad enough, Amelia then proceeded to turn the sweet tea cup upside down and spill that sticky nectar all over her and her car seat. Yuuuuck.

After a nap and some family playtime, I headed out to pick up a pizza for dinner. Yep, we needed a little more grease in our life apparently. And because we are a people who believes that pizza is meant to be eaten with your hands, you can bet we were in dire need of bath time by the end of the day.

On Sunday, I decided to take Amelia to church and let her experience a little social interaction in the nursery while I stood in the corner in true helicopter mother style. I was happily surprised to see how well she seemed to jump right into playing, as I had feared she might cling to my leg like a spider monkey. She had a great time playing in the nursery, snacking on some goldfish with her toddler peers, and really just experiencing a little taste of freedom to play in a new environment.

However, I observed a few behaviors in this new structured setting that I recognize now we need to work on: sharing & drinking from a cup without a lid. Amelia didn't fully grasp the concept that all of the toys in the room were not for her pleasure and hers alone. When another little girl starting playing with the basket of fake food that she was playing with Amelia ran up to me with tears in her eyes trying to tattle on her. Not good. And then when the teachers were passing out little paper cups of water to the kids during snack time, I knew it was going to end in disaster but I just stood by fighting my helicopter urges to see if maybe Amelia would surprise me by taking a dainty sip from the cup. But no. Of course she poured the entire cup down the front of her dress. Sigh.

So, after an hour of socializing with about 20 mini germ factories also known as toddlers, we headed home to figure out a plan for lunch. The rest of the day was Sunday routine as usual - lunch, naptime, and then I had to do my weekly grocery haul. When I got home I let Amelia snack on some goldfish and pears while I fixed dinner - veggie quesadillas. Once dinner was ready and I was finally sitting down at the table to enjoy my dinner, before taking my first bite I gave Amelia a bite to see if she would like them. I thought they were bland enough plus I dipped it in a little sour cream to dial down any spice that she might not like.

Right off the bat, I knew I had made a terrible mistake.

She IMMEDIATELY started gagging. Not choking, GAGGING. She did NOT like that quesadilla whatsoever. I knew this was going to end in vomit.

So I rushed as quickly as I could to get her out of the highchair and onto the kitchen floor where at least the clean up would be a little easier. But before I could fully get her into the kitchen, she purged that bite of quesadilla out of her mouth - along with all the goldfish and pears she had been munching on. And let me tell you. It was everywhere.

On the carpet. On the kitchen floor. On the highchair. On her shirt, pants, and socks. On my shirt, pants, and slippers. In her hair. On Lucy's ear.

BATHS FOR EVERYONE. IMMEDIATELY.

Now this is when you know you're really a mom. I gave Lucy a bath, and then put my upchuck-laden daughter in her bath. I had thrown all of the soiled garments in the washer and cleaned all the surfaces (with Chris's help, thank goodness). But I put my own shower on the back burner.

Sunday nights are always my time to iron Chris's work shirts for the week. After Amelia's bath, I announced to Chris that I was ready to iron his shirts. To which he replied, "you are not ironing my shirts, until you take a shower."

It was at this time that the thought hit me that I had truly earned that nice long hot shower after my weekend of grease, spilled beverages, nursery germs, and projectile vomit.

April Fool's weekend or not, Mom life is no joke.

It may not be all glitz and glam, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Monday!